The Apocalypse

As a bit of background information, I live in the heart of the south, although you wouldn't know it if you had to guess. I didn't pick up an accent or any of the lingo or the strange obsession with camouflage, I'm just sort of here. 

As a bit more background information, there's not a lot we don't see down here. Everything from the leftovers of hurricanes, tornadoes, hail, freak rain storms, etc etc.

But one thing we don't see very often: snow. And when you see southerners react to the fulfilled forecast of snow, you've officially seen it all.

So of course, on this topic, it is in fact snowing right now. And on that topic, I can tell you right now that every store from here to NC is fresh out of bread, milk, and beer. People are locking themselves in their homes bundled in copious coats and blankets, praying to jesus that the snow will not freeze them over. The same posts on facebook circulate everyone's feed, and it's usually the one with a girl in shorts running and jumping into the snow. They tell their neighbors they love them in case they don't make it through the night, and they tell their enemies to go screw themselves in case they do make it through the night. 

The sad part is, we've had consistent snow for the past few years now. No one down here has gotten the memo yet that this whole snow thing is natural, and it won't kill anyone. 

And just so we are clear, I don't endorse any of the South's barbaric response to these icy winters. It's imbecilic and we are not going to die.

But here I am, drinking really nasty, diluted tea, cuddled in blankets, and I'm about to turn on my fireplace. It's not even really snowing anymore, just a bunch of sleet and nastiness. With hope, the rain will freeze over and school will be cancelled tomorrow because no one down here knows how to drive when it's below 38 degrees. 

In the meantime, I'm content with keeping my perpetually cold body as warm as possible and binging on Netflix series.