Blue is a Pretty Color

I learned more about Mister's situation today. Like I said, it's a waiting game at this point.
But I also learned that his issues are almost completely unpredictable. He could be sound to jump for several years down the road, or he might have to be euthanized within the year. We don't know how aggressive the bone spur or the arthritis is, and he could be blind in one eye after a few years. Treatment is pricey, there's not a lot we can even do except for regular injections and daily supplements. He's sound enough to whatever we want to do for now until we hear otherwise. But if the vet tells me we can only do flat, I'll trade my close contact saddle in for a dressage saddle. If we can only do walk trot, I'm sure he'll enjoy leisurely trail rides. If he's completely unsound for riding, then we aren't riding. We'll go on hand walks and long grooming sessions until the last of his days.

Long story short: he's mine, and that's it, forever. I'm not trading him off for something younger and more sound, I'm not selling him to be a pasture ornament where he's completely forgotten about. I wanted to keep him to be my forever horse before the exam, I want him to be my forever horse after the exam. That's not changing anytime soon. I love him. And he's a crotchety little jerk who hates most everyone, but he decided to like me. A lot. He shows it in his own little ways, too, whether it be nickering to me when I come to get him or looking for me when I'm out of his sight. I don't love him because of how fancy he is or how he rides, I love him because he loves me.

On a better note, he's technically mine. He's a $6000 horse who can't be resold, so he's mine for free. All I have to do is sign, which we're holding off on for financial reasons. When we're ready, so are the papers.

As bad as it sounds, it's almost like a happy ending. Not fairy tale, no, but we know what we're dealing with and I'm here to help him through until the end, regardless of when that may be. He's happy for now, loaded up on injections and supplements until they don't work anymore, and when they don't, we know what to do.

That's it. That's my life right now. And I'm totally fine with that.