A Monologue

So they show definitely could have gone better. Yeah no I don't feel like getting into it. I totally will though. At some point.

I also promised my friend Abby that I would feature a picture that she made for me on here, but I'm honestly super tired. Sorry, Abby. I want sleep very badly.

I also feel super obliged to write some quality stuff now that I'm gonna get paid for this, but honestly, y'all ain't gettin' it tonight. I'm running on fumes and I'm gonna be studying for midterms all this week. I'm a little stressed. Columbia College of Chicago keeps on sending me things and now I'm panicking to get my grades up.

I will promise that I will get you guys a new profile picture by the end of this week. Maybe.

And as a bonus, since I really should include something from today, a collection of things I basically screamed at Mister today in my classes. Enjoy.



WARM-UP
-What. What is this.
- Why are you doing this.
- Yes, Mister, that is a lovely piaffe, now walk.
- Still not a walk.
- This a canter. Not a walk.
- Who hurt you.
- I bet your mother never loved you as a child.
- Oh. That was almost a rear. That was kind of fun.
- Do it again.
- Oh, we're side passing now.
- I thought you wanted to run. Why are you stopping in the middle of the arena and pawing.
- Oh another piaffe.
- And we are galloping. This is bad.
- Come down. No, stop that. Do not do that.
- This is why everyone hates us.
- Okay, why won't these kids move away from the rail? I called outside.
- "Hey! I. Want. The. Rail."
- I couldn't have made that sound anymore rude
- But hey, they moved.
- Okay, that'll do.

FIRST CLASS
- Okay, this isn't so bad. The class isn't that big.
- Why do we have to trot in? I don't wanna.
- Okay, he's not out of control yet. This is good.
- Oh and we're cantering.
- No. Stop that.
- Okay, now you can actually canter.
- Dummy, this is not a canter.
- This is not a canter.
- THIS IS NOT A CANTER.
- I know I'm in your mouth, you're in my hands. Give them back.
- B**** I know you can do 5 meter circles and that's exactly what you're gonna do.
- Oh thank god we can walk again.
- No, walk.
- No, walk.
- Oh, that little rear-y thing again. Fun, but not okay, man.
- "At me, pisshead! I'm ripped!"
- I think I said that one out loud.
- Yep, definitely said that out loud. People in the stands are now laughing.
- Alright, one more time and we're done.
- Okay, easy canter this time, babe.
- Nope. This is a gallop. This is a gallop in the wrong lead.
- Come back down.
- No, I said come back down.
- Okay, you're being unreasonable and I will 100% throw you into the teeniest little circle until you either stop or fall on your face.
- Don't doubt me.
- And you chose to stop. Thank you.
- "Chrissy, free me. I'm done."
- "You have like, two more seconds, hang in there."
-*emits a strange, inhuman noise*
- Okay, dude, just chill out in the middle of the arena for a second while we wait for placings.
- No, don't shake your head like that.
- Stop.
- Stop.
- Stop that.
- No.
- Stop.
- Look, you can leave now.
- Oh my god, why are you so proud of yourself? You smug little b******.
- *sighs and pats pony* Okay, good job. I'd tell you that you at least tried, but you didn't. Maybe next time.


This actually spanned throughout two classes, but they were back to back and had the same outcome.
Like I said, I figured I should write something at least a little worth while since there will be ads on here in the next few days.
God, I feel so professional. Maybe I should illustrate the lost cow story sometime. That would be neat.