What's the Haps, Paps?

And now, the news.

Hurricane Matthew is currently b**** slapping the South Carolina and Florida coast, as well as a few other states, but no one cares about them. Many residents are refusing to evacuate, but we can't actually expect Florida to actually listen to us. They also don't seem to realize that it's not just going to be the wind hitting them, it's the baggage the wind has picked up. Getting tossed around by a pleasant, 100mph breeze? Cool, you're about to get "tossed around" by an 100mph flying car, too.

In the midst of the storm, though, there's the one really important question on everyone's mind. Where did Bill Murray evacuate to, and is he okay? Does he need a place to stay? Would he like to come chill out at my house?

Bill, if you see this, there's beer in the fridge and a little cigar lying around somewhere if you want it. Come stay with me. We have fun.

PS: I will make you peer edit my material for open mic night. Fair warning.

In other news, the writer and creator of this blog (me) rode for the second time after her injury, which was also the first time seeing her horse in a few weeks. He has lost all muscle mass and a lot of weight and looks like he was also b**** slapped by the hurricane, but otherwise very happy to see her. Ava wants to cry though, because all of his top line is gone and he desperately needs his mane pulled.

In the writer's hometown, a clown sighting has been reported. She is scared and she wants to cry. Ava wants to do a lot of crying.

The writer also bought a hoodie with a little pouch in the front to carry around Ms. Pickles in. She is pumped for this.

She is also supposed to be writing two essays right now. We see what's she's doing instead.

Also, to Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, people like that: I know you live in New York and you're not going to get pummeled by the storm, but maybe you'd like to see some violent rain storms and drink tea and coffee in my living room, snuggled up to Mort and Ms. Pickles. Also come to my house. There's beer in the fridge and you two and Bill Murray can fight over the cigar lying around. We have fun. We can draw straws over the single cigar.


That's about it for the news today, but as a quick message to all those affected by the storm:
Get out your canoes. It's hurricane season, you know what to do.