Squirrel

It's story time because this story doesn't need pictures!

Okay so once upon a time (like, four months ago) I had a little pit bull named Swindle. She was pretty cool but she was slightly food aggressive and peed a lot.

I drew a picture anyway.

Okay, so one day we noticed that she had something very small in her mouth, and we were like "we don't give our dogs small things what could this be" and my mother sent me to go pry out whatever she had captured.

So I reach my hand in her NASTY FACE and pulled out something that looked like this:

A MUTILATED BABY SQUIRREL

This didn't phase me much because I hate squirrels, but regardless this little thing was weird and sticky and I didn't want it around. I took it out to the front yard to dispose of it, when this thing FREAKING MOVED. IT WASN'T DEAD. IT WAS MISSING HALF ITS SKIN AND IT WAS BREATHING.

So I took it to the bathroom and washed it up.

I also probably made it worse.

(Also it had a squirrel penis? Ew?)

Even if I had just doomed this small creature, I was determined to save it. Slathering ointments and soaps onto its injuries, I called up a rodent expert from my barn and she told me to bring it over. 

I shoved it into a wash cloth and headed over to her house, the squirrel still breathing.

I passed the squirrel over to her, confident that this stupid rodent would live. She looked at it for two seconds and gave it back to me.

"Yea no this thing is dead Ava."

Well darn. It had been breathing the entire way over and then decided to die the second it had a chance to live. 

And then, of course, we I got home it started breathing again so we had to find away to kill it.

I went back home and my mother told me to give it to Moby to see if he would kill it off. 

He took it ever so gently and walked out into the yard a few paces, and then turned and looked at us.

Y'all are going to hell.

Needless to say, he walked back up to us, set the squirrel in front of us, stared at us like we were the spawn of satan and walked away.

We ended up giving it back to Swindle, who slaughtered it mercilessly right in front of me.

The end I guess?

Cheers!