OKRA

Before I begin, it's good to mention I'm writing all of this on my phone. I have very blunt, wide thumbs, which might inconvenience my writing. Yeah, no, sorry about that.

I'm sitting on my moms bed in the downstairs room of our condo as I write this. Why am I describing my location. This is completely irrelevant.

I nearly got in trouble yesterday for throwing a stick of okra with a face drawn on it into the pool from the sixth floor. Lou and I thought this was going to be the funniest prank ever, everyone else thought it was immature, and said I had to "grow up at some point". I'm still salty, guys. Dead Sea salty.

That being said, I've been going around places and taking pictures of a different piece of drawn on okra and posting it to my snapchat. It's one of the better things I've ever done with my time.

I bought something called MONQ the other day, it's a $20 essential oil diffuser and it's basically a pocket sized aromatherapy thing and you just sort of breathe in the oil/vapor/air. It's a vape pen. It's a $20 vape pen for smelling random scents in. I'm still excited about it.

I binge watched all of the SNL episodes on Netflix and I don't know what to do with my life.

I learned from this binge episode. If my goal of becoming a scientist falls through. I want to do stand up. I'm embarrassingly uncool and unconventionally disappointing, so I feel like I should take advantage of that. Thanks, Kate McKinnon, for helping me realize I can use my unhip-ness to make others laugh. Hopefully intentionally. That's the dream right there.

I've also learned that bathtub soap caddies are personally out to get me. I was taking a shower earlier and I reached down to pick up my shampoo, when my butt grazed a razor haphazardly sitting on the caddy, and it SLICED MY ASS OPEN. BUTT BLOOD. BUTT BLOOD EVERY WHERE. IT DIDNT STOP FOR LIKE, AN HOUR. And don't get me wrong, it did not cut my butt, it SHAVED THE SKIN OFF MY ASS. One and a half rolls of toilet paper, two handfuls of paper towels, a spritz of (painful) bacterial spray, a soda, a very small bandaid, and one very large bandaid later, I cannot sit down. My whole right cheek has been disabled.

I've been picking off this cookie dough my mom bought, and I just ate over the half way mark and I feel bad about it. She told me not to, but I knew that she wouldn't use it. I should go out and buy her some more.

Also! And I might have already adressed this, but I'm gonna talk about it anyway, but I might not have mentioned it earlier, so it needs to be said: THIS STUPID BLOG HAS REACHED OVER 2000 VIEWS. IM SO HAPPY. I wanted to catch it right at 2000, but I was a bit off and I think we're right at 2029 right now, something like that. But guys, this means a lot to me. I mean, it took a while to accumulate and my average views are actually quite mediocre and nothing to write home about, but I really thought I was only gonna get like, two or three views every once in a while, so thank you. I'm gonna doodle out a story for my shower incidents, so that's your reward. My crappy artwork and terrible storytelling wrapping into one entry. You're welcome.

Yeah that's enough. Cheers!

I just shifted a little bit and my bandaid wrinkled on my ass and I want to cry. Christ help me.