Broken.

I am terrified of this election on tuesday. Like, I'mma piss myself terrified.
Also, I got some sick fingerpicks yesterday and I can't stop playing with my uke. I can shred a ukulele with fingerpicks. I can play every song I've ever wanted to with fingerpicks. I can play my dad's friend's banjo with fingerpicks. I can still use my phone without taking my fingerpicks off.
This is it. I've become invincible.

Y'all. I can shred a ukulele. I can die happy.

But not before I get my banjo.

Once I get it, I'm gonna post a video of myself playing it on Twitter. Or maybe all of my social media platforms. And I'll tag The Avett Brothers in it. I'll caption it:

"@TheAvettBrothers Hire me. I work for half-hearted accolades and slices of apple. I can also shred a uke."

My ideal response would be:

"Resume?"

And I would write:

"I once ate two frozen hot pockets, a tootsie roll with the wrapper on, and I can lick my elbow."

From there, I will become an honorary Avett. We'll go on cool adventures. It'll be great.

Guys I'm really lonely.

I accidentally dropped my Chromebook just now and it magnified everything and it might drive me insane. It's super big and I might have broken my Chromebook.

I'm gonna end things here because I don't wanna look at this.